This time I’ll remember well
Katryn Anne Uytiepo
When Simone Weil was still a college student, the philosopher Simone de Beauvoir went to find her to strike up a conversation. Weil mused that the only thing that mattered in the world today was the revolution that would feed all the starving people in the world. Beauvoir, who would proceed to become one of the major figures of the existentialist movement, answered that what we need to do is to find the reason for human existence. Weil only stared at her and said, “It’s easy to see that you’ve never gone hungry.”
I was contemplating that story when I was preparing for my deployment. Weil could have said the same to me. All I used to care about is to give my life some sort of meaning. I lived in the ivory tower of philosophy. Also, my parents took it upon themselves to never let us go hungry. With that story in mind, I was determined to know what being hungry feels like, what not having enough looks like. Weil came from a wealthy family and had an excellent education, but she lived out her compassion for the poor. I wanted to do the same. I have a good idea of what poverty looks like in the city, but I did not know what to expect in the province.
The project I was assigned to is called Self-Help Approach or “SHA”. Bicol Center for Community Development Inc. (BCCD), funded by Kindernothilfe, provides trainings and workshops to the women of Barcelona, Sorsogon. Their tagline “We help people help themselves” is also a principle that I embraced. On the day after I arrived in Albay, we went to Barcelona for my fieldwork. Accompanied by my volunteer coordinator and the community facilitators of the program, I interviewed some members of a Self-Help Group (SHeG). They were very accommodating. They were honest about their situations. Having not enough money is something they did not think of hiding from an outsider with a camera. They were not ashamed of saying that sometimes they find it hard to give their P10 weekly savings. A woman told me how she raised some pigs in order to pay for her child’s tuition in college. Another confession she shared was that sometimes she has to borrow money from the SHeG funds so she can be able to give her kids “baon” in school. These women are hardworking, persevering, and full of hope for a better future. But what struck me most was their generosity. Everywhere we went to we were offered with food or something to bring back to Manila. One would expect that people who barely have enough to live on would only know how to take and keep what they have, but giving seemed to be second nature to them. I quickly came to admire these women.
What I witnessed during my immersion really bothered me. I did not think 10 pesos has any value until I saw how the people in the communities we visited have to work for hours on end to earn it. On the third day, we trekked the hills of a mountain to visit a community. The uneven terrain was difficult to walk on. The glaring sun hurt my skin. I could not imagine how one could last under that condition, until I was told that students from that community have to do every day what I did for less than an hour. I had no right to complain.
What the whole experience taught me is that there is still so much to do. Social development is still as urgent as it has always been. We have been told that once you have volunteered, you will be damaged forever. I see now that it is true. I looked poverty in the eye and it looked back with searing intensity. It is tempting to look away. It is tempting to think that if I do not pursue development work, others would still have to do it. But what if no one would? After the problem that I have seen, how could I do anything but dedicate my life to fixing it?
My volunteer coordinator, Ate Sonia, provided me with an answer. Waiting for the sun to set at the plaza in front of the Barcelona church, we opened up to each other like only old friends would. Her life as a single mother of four and a field worker is a story that needs to be told. I did not know how desperately I needed to hear a story like hers until I caught myself gulping every single word she uttered. I also shared how frustrated I am that none of my family and friends share my passion for social development. Her life is encouraging. If she could commit her life to serving others and still be able to take care of her family, perhaps I could do it as well.
I am exceedingly grateful for this experience. That week in Bicol was the best part of my year so far. I do not believe in good or bad karma, but after those days I cannot help but wonder whether I have done something right to deserve this.
“There’s no place I’d rather be. There’s no one I’d rather be with. There’s nothing I’d rather be doing. This time I’ll remember well.”
Katryn Anne Uytiepo has a degree in Bachelor of Arts in Organizational Communication from De La Salle University, Manila. She’s interested in writing, reading and graphic design.