Of the Self, Selfishness, and Selflessness
Frances Pauline Brillantes
It was a black and white picture that made me cry.
Hours after coming home from Laguna, I posted a picture of me, Jacky Ong, and the tutees of Open Heart Foundation at the front door of the training center. I just got off the phone and was about to sleep when my Facebook alert sounded off.
“Paaauu…”
He wanted to ask me about my recent volunteering experience. Naturally, my pride obliged. It turned out he has been on the lookout for a recipient for donations. Now that he’s organizing an event, he found the perfect organization through my social media updates. #codesummer.
“You won’t believe how many people are willing to help.”
I cried not because I was touched. Please. I don’t do clichés. I cried because after hearing stories of failed rescue attempts of the organization I was assigned to, I felt helpless. I cried because he was the help I was looking for. I cried because whatever emotion I was feeling that moment could not be contained in my eyes– it had to be released.
At the field, I was looking at a cell of misfortune wrought by poverty and neglect; caught in it were innocent children. All I could do was write to give them a voice: a voice that I could only hope would reach out to you. Helplessness is such a terrible experience.
Immersion, Involvement, Integration
I grew up in an institution where volunteering was mandatory, hence the donations in cash and kind. I carried this out through my adulthood with the mindset that it was the right thing to do. Nevertheless, it still felt detached and impersonal. I never saw who was at the receiving end of my efforts. It just felt like an obligation.
My volunteering experience gave me a face to look at. They were smiling and eager, but in so much need. I heard stories about the children beneficiaries of Open Heart Foundation. I saw them; played with them; I talked with them. From sources of data and information, they ate their way into a chamber of my heart, a chamber which I think I left at the training center in Casile, Laguna.
Coming from a political, objective, and humanistic point of view, I have always found it curious as to why people volunteer. The reason I engage in this sort of activity is neither selfless nor sacrificial: it is selfish in its own right. I want to live a virtuous life, and by virtue, I mean that which I was brought up with. By exposing myself to this kind of activity, I learn, I experience, I hone. Note the “I”.
“Make the world a better place for our future generations”– from the first person perspective. “Make our world a better place” our; possessive. See, in any which way we put it, volunteering goes back to the self.
Sometimes, however, having nothing hampers a person’s capacity to give. I am fortunate enough to have the means and the capacity to give– whether it’s time, manpower, skills, or material goods, I am empowered and capable. I dwell in the thought that for you to be able to give, you should have something to give. In all honesty, how do you contribute if, for yourself, you have close to nothing?
The Enlightenment
The turning point during the experience was interviewing volunteers from the Children and Youth Program of Open Heart Foundation. This is because these are people who experience shortage and all its cousins on a daily basis. Volunteer work is financially unrewarding, bluntly speaking, but from what I saw, it was emotionally rewarding.
Volunteers of Open Heart Foundation are, to me, a peculiar and curious case. This is because they are those who have very little, but give more than what they need to. In fact, nothing is expected from them, but on their own volition, they help. Why volunteer, I asked.
“Sinu-sinong magtutulungan kundi kami? Kaming maglilingkod sa community.” (Who is there to help us but ourselves? We who serve the community.” According to Mary Grace Zoňo, a parent monitor, community service is a social responsibility wherein everyone who belongs has a duty to serve.
“Pinangako ko sa sarili ko na magvovolunteer ako as long as I can sa Open Heart. Binago nila buhay ko sa tulong ng scholarship. Pangarap lang makatapos ng pag-aaral nung una. ngayon, totoo na. Hanggang graduation, nandun sila, kasama kong magmartsa.” (I promised myself that I would volunteer as long as I can at Open Heart. They changed my life through their scholarship program. I used to dream of finishing my studies but now, it’s already a reality. They were with me until I graduated. They were with me as I marched.) Cristopher Corro was an orphan who came to the foundation for help. He graduated, was given opportunities, and now chooses to prioritize the foundation through volunteering. He now teaches English during Saturday tutorial sessions.
Scholars and parents are not required to serve the foundation. They do it as a way of extending their benefits to the rest of the community.
Involvement
Altruism, a doctrine in which the principal value is selflessness– that a man must live for others and place others above the self. For most religions, men have been taught that the highest virtue is not to achieve, but to give in expectation of reward. Sacrifice and bliss is the wheel that makes the world turn. Perhaps, either one of the first two principles may apply to different individuals. Nevertheless, the desire to serve others remains steadfast.
Now that I am involved with the organization to a certain extent, I now feel how a real volunteer feels. I have selfishly integrated myself into their cause, because now, the well-being of the children is already my pride, glory, and happiness.
Pauline is a student and teacher of politics, philosophy, and society. She has a special place in her heart for children, animals, and the environment. She thinks she is awkward by nature, but is actually awesome.